When you learn you’ve been lied to, it’s only natural not to trust that person again. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me, as the old adage goes.
But what about when that lie is much more than just the spoken word but involves being betrayed physically by the person you trusted most in the world? If it’s the person who’s not only your lover but also your best friend and the most important person in your life?
Well, that’s when things tend to get a lot messier.
Private Investigator Tips: The Stages of Moving On After Being Cheated
This type of betrayal can last for months or even years. Quite often, it’s something that’s never fully recovered from.
If you’ve learned that your significant other has been cheating, you may not think or act rationally for a while, and that’s only natural. But it’s true that time heals all wounds, even if it doesn’t seem so at the time.
That being said, our firm created private investigator tips based on professional experiences and come up with stages that they think everyone is going to need to work through emotionally after this type of betrayal.
Lack of Trust
If you’ve put all of your trust in another person only to have that trust broken in the most devastating way imaginable, it’s likely you’re going to have some trust issues for a while.
If you had a carefree attitude before, you probably won’t now – at least for a good period of time. But you’ll eventually need to move on and make a conscious effort to trust someone again.
This can be done on your own terms and at a time that you feel comfortable, but just remember that the world is made up of a lot of different people and not everyone is going to treat you like your ex did.
It’s going to be the hardest thing in the world to trust someone again, but you’re going to have to do so if you ever hope to have another meaningful relationship.
A Decrease in Self Esteem
When you’ve been cheated on by someone you trusted, it’s only natural to start having feelings of inadequacy. You may begin wondering what’s wrong with you and why would your significant other strays in such away.
You may also start to think irrationally at this point, looking in the mirror and trying to find things that are wrong or imperfect.
This is a time when you might want to seek some professional help, especially if those feelings linger for a good amount of time.
Eventually, you should break out of it and realize what it is that you can offer another person. And this is when you’re ready to move on and start over.
Doubts About The Future
If it happened once, it’s bound to happen again, right?. That’s not necessarily true, of course, but these are the kinds of feelings and thoughts you may begin experiencing.
If you had begun planning a long term future with your significant other, or if you were already married and well on your way to achieving all of your goals, these thoughts may not go away any time soon.
But with time, you’ll begin feeling more positive and realize that the person you were with just wasn’t the right person for you. Then you can move on and begin planning that future with someone else who deserves what it is that you bring to the table.
A Suspicious Nature
This is closely related to trust issues, but could also be a result of a more suspicious mind that evolves because of previous bad experiences.
You may have, for example, hired a private investigator to confirm suspicions of infidelity in your previous relationship. And you may keep that detective’s phone number in your contact list should you ever need his or her services again.
And you very well might. But then again, you might not.
Keep the number if it makes you feel better and more secure, but don’t go out of your way to use it.
It’s always good to have a private investigator in your contact list, as they serve all kinds of functions in the world today. But just because you have one, and may very well need him, doesn’t mean that things will necessarily go wrong in your next relationship.
You may start blaming yourself for your loved one cheating on you. Maybe you’ll feel like you weren’t giving them enough attention, either sexually or otherwise.
This isn’t exactly a healthy thing to do, but it is natural. So go through this phase if you must, but don’t beat yourself up too much over someone else’s actions.
If anything, turn it into a positive by determining to have better communication in your next relationship. And there will be the next relationship, whether you can currently see it happening or not.